Monday, December 31, 2007

Make Algore cry for New Years

Go here and calculate your *cough* "carbon footprint." Calculate for only yourself, come back here and post your "score." Highest score wins! But I must warn you, I scored 36!

Update: Y'all are making feel like I'm not doing my fair share to make Algore cry :(

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Why is this so hard to understand?

Recent conversation with a patient right after lunch:

Hey, what can I do for you?

I don't feel good, I'm having some pain in my chest. Can you take my blood pressure?

Didn't you have some chest pain while I was out and go to the ED?


What happened?

They said it was heartburn and gave me a prescription for Zantac.

Does this feel the same? (taking BP as we talk)


Well, your BP is 130/82 and your pulse is 88. When did you last take the Zantac?

Oh, I ran out and haven't gotten anymore.

Well, since you just ate lunch and don't have any other symptoms, I think you are just having more heartburn. You need to see your doctor and have it treated.

(blank stare)

Do you have a doctor?

(blank stare)

Where do you go when you are sick?

(blank stare)

You really need a doctor. You may have something more serious than just plain heartburn. You could have an ulcer or acid reflux disease......

Why didn't they test me for all that when I was in the emergency room?

Well, you went in with chest pain. They determined it wasn't a heart attack or some other emergency. They released you so you could see your doctor for treatment.

But why didn't they......

The emergency department treats emergencies. They determined your chest pain wasn't an emergency. They don't treat chronic problems.

(blank stare)

You see your doctor for non emergency problems--not the emergency department. They treat emergencies. Your heartburn wasn't an emergency.

(blank stare)

(dying a little inside) Here's some Tums and a list of local doctors.........

Saturday, December 15, 2007


Forbes has named the 10 most influential infants in Hollywood. Who is being influenced by these babes and why?

Sunday, December 9, 2007

Final (hopefully) update on my dad

My dad came home today.

He was in the hospital for 3 weeks. He has triple bypass last Thursday, and 3 short days later he's finally home.

The doctor says in 6 weeks he'll feel like a new man.

Thanks to all of you who had kind words to say and kept him in your thoughts and prayers.

It's going to be a very Merry Christmas this year.

Friday, December 7, 2007

Mr. Rogers asks:

Can you say, "Future serial killer?"

I knew you could.

Dear Medicaid Loser,

U-J and I went to the doctor this afternoon. Our insurance changes next year and doctor's visits are going to cost a lot more. So, we decided to see the doc one more time this year so we could get all our prescriptions renewed.

We dropped off the prescriptions at the pharmacy letting them know which ones needed to be filled right away and preceded to kill some time at Home Depot and the pet supply store while we waited.

We returned to the pharmacy to pick everything up. There was a woman in front of me picking up her stuff.

"Why dees pills look diff'rent?" she asks the pharmacist.

"Those are the ones Medicaid will pay for."

"You gots any smaller ones?"

"No, these are the ones Medicaid will pay for."

"Well, I guess I takes dees din," she says with disgust.

She and her 2 kids, both of whom have been running around the store while this conversation occurred, take the pills and leave.

I go up to the counter and fork over $80 in copays.

Dear Medicaid Loser,

If you don't like the free freaking drugs Medicaid will pay for, get a freaking job and some insurance!

The angry, working, tax paying woman in line behind you

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Times you're glad no one else is listening....

An associate came to the health center with a muscle spasm in her shoulder. So I put some warm heat on her and then preceded to find the knot and massage it out. The following exchange ensued:

Lay down and relax. This might hurts a little. I'm going to feel around a little bit until I find your knot. Tell me when I hit the right spot.

"Oooooo, that's it, right there."

Wow, you're really tight.

"Ahhhhh, that's making my arm go numb. I think I'm starting to drool a little on the pillow."

Am I doing it to hard?

"No, it's starting to tingle."

Ok, I'm going to concentrate on your knot for a minute. Tell me when you can't take anymore.

You ok? Your face is starting to get really red.

"Ooooo no, I'm just fine. Ahhhhhhh, that feels soooooo good."

And then we put on our pajamas and had a pillow fight....

Monday, December 3, 2007

Yet another post about my Pops

I promise I'll write about something else this week--maybe.

My dad finally had his heart cath today. He has blockages in 2 coronary arteries and one in his leg. Because of the location of the blockages in his coronary arteries, the doctor couldn't place stents. So, either Wednesday or Thursday he's going to have a triple bypass.

I'm worried about my dad, but
I know he's being taken care of. At the moment I'm more worried about my mom. I can't imagine how tired she is. The hospital Pops is at now is 75 miles from their home. He's being kept in a small room in the Cardiac Intervention Lab. There is no where for her to stay, so she's been driving back and forth everyday. The only good part about that is at least she's getting to sleep in her own bed instead of on a hospital cot.