The only good thing about being at home sick today is that I don't have to get on the road and drive with a bunch of idiots. Just some notes and suggestions for those who can't drive to think about before I get back on the road:
1. Slower traffic keep RIGHT. This means YOU. I don't care if you are turning left in 10 miles. If you are the slowest thing on the road you need to drive in the right lane. You may get in the left lane when you get close to your turn. Ten miles from the turn is not CLOSE.
2. Driving up as close as you can to my bumper as fast as your hooptie will go will NOT make me drive faster. As a matter of fact, your actions may make me drive slower.
3. Do not start flashing your lights at me to get over when it is obvious that I can not. If there is a car in front of me, a semi beside me and you behind me, there is no where I can go. You will just have to wait.
4. You have these amazing things on your car called turn signals. Please use them.
5. If you can not drive, apply make-up, eat your breakfast and talk on the phone all at the same time AND stay in your own lane, perhaps you should limit yourself to just driving.
6. On passing--please do not pass me and then slow down to a speed slower than what I was driving. This will piss me off. Also, if I try to pass you, please do not speed up. This will piss me off more. Me passing you is not an insult or a challenge. It simply means that you are not driving as fast as I would like to travel, and I'd like to get in front of you so that I can drive a faster speed than you are currently driving.
7. If you can see that the road is clear for several miles except for my car, please do not pull out in front of me and drive 10 mph. If you are going to drive 10 mph, you are not in a hurry and can wait until I have driven by.
8. If traffic is backed up for miles and your exit is coming up, please just wait your turn in the right lane with the rest of us. Do not drive past all of us who have been waiting to get off the exit and then expect me to let you in. You are NOT special. And in fact, you are causing traffic to back up more.
Of course I know that no one who reads my blog would commit any of these driving faux pas. But, I'm sick and grumpy and complaining makes me feel better.