Pass the bottle

After the day I've had, I deserve a bottle of whine, I mean wine.

We got some cool new software to use with a piece of equipment in the clinic at work. Today the company rep came to train us how to use it. I set aside 3 hours in the morning thinking certainly that will be more than enough time. OH NO.

She arrived 45 minutes late. Ok, that is a little annoying, but it happens. Hellos are exchanged and she sits down at my desk and starts looking at the software her company sent for us to install. And something is wrong. Our IT guy gets involved. I'm a passive observer at this point, but I have absorbed just enough computer stuff from Unix-Jedi to suspect this woman doesn't know what she is doing. BUT, she has an Information Technology degree--something she will remind us of many times during the day.

It seems our equipment wasn't playing nice with the software because it "is soooo old." Now, it is less than 10 years old. I know occupational health nurses that are using that software with equipment that is 20+ years old.

"Does is you equipment have microchip in it?"

"I have no idea."

"Well, all the other nurses I have work with know if theirs has one."

Okay.............

Suggestions are made that she call the supplier of said equipment and find out.

So, she places the call while all of us getting trained scatter to get away from her for a while. I come back after a few minutes and she tells me,"I just had to get off the phone with the supplier. He was talking to me as if I was someone like you. I have an IT degree. My mother has a PhD and my IQ is higher than hers."

I'm guess "someone like me" is dumb and must be talked to in simple terms.

Training resumes. "Oh, let me show you this." She pulls up something out of a pdf file.

"Huh, I want to be able to see the whole page on the screen, but I don't know how to do that."

"Why don't you go to the tool bar where it says 118% and change it to 100% or less?"

My colleagues and I look at each other and roll our eyes while she does this task.

An associate comes to the clinic for a work related injury. I excuse myself to take care of them. I finish up as quickly as I can and return to training.

"Most of the nurses I work with put a sign on the door saying they are in training and are not to be disturbed."

This isn't a bed and breakfast where I can put a do not disturb sign on the door. I am there to take care of the associates medical problems. I have a nursing degree!

Four and a half hours after she arrives, we begin working with the software. I had a question.

"If you will wait until I have finished to ask questions, I won't get distracted." And she promptly goes off down some pig trail.

Six hours after she arrives and an hour after I am supposed to be home, I have had enough.

"I'm sorry, but I really have somethings I need to finish before I go home, and I need my computer. I think I can figure out the software on my own. Thank you for coming by today."

And I shooed her and her IT degree outta my clinic.