The best thing.......

about being pregnant (so far) is that I don't have to hold my stomach in--I can let it all hang out!

I know it's been a while.....

I know I haven't posted in....well, forever.

Unix-Jedi and I have been busy procreating. Yes folks, I'm pregnant. And I'm afraid we are DOOMED! You see, this will be the first grandchild on both sides of the family. And did I mention that all the grandparents are retired? DOOMED, I tell you!

Hopefully as the fatigue and nausea wear off, I'll be back more frequently....until the kid appears, anyway!

Why is this soooo hard?

Conversation with a patient with low back pain:


Me: You have a couple of options. If the pain is not severe, I can make you an appointment to see an Orthopaedist in a few days. If you can't take the pain anymore, there is an emergency clinic that is open until 9 tonight. Both options will only cost you your $20 co-pay.

Him: Well, why did the hospital charge me $400 when I went to the ER?

Why did you go to the ER?

I had a bug bite.

You had a bug bite that resulted in a severe allergic reaction? Trouble breathing...throat closing...?

No, it just itched

If you go to the ER and it's not an emergency, your insurance doesn't pay. You have to pay.

Well, what is an "emergency?"

An emergency is where you are in danger of losing your life or a limb, NOT a bug bite that just itches you idiot!

OK, so I didn't say that the idiot part. But I REALLY wanted to! Why is this sooo hard to understand?

Wouldn't that hurt?

A patient dropped by today to tell me her health history because she was sure would "impale" me....hehehe

Back to work....and reality

As I'm sitting here thinking about having to go back to work tomorrow, I'm reminded of a recent staff meeting I attended. The topic was the recent employee survey. One of the low scores for my department was compensation (come on, who thinks they are being paid enough?) The big issue was the fact that we (occupational health nurses) are not paid on the same pay scale as hospital nurses.

I get 2 10-minute scheduled breaks per day, a 30-minute scheduled lunch break a day, holidays off, 2 weeks a year off, and weekends off.

Do I deserve to make what a hospital nurse makes? Hell no. There are somethings worth more than money.

Irony, con't

Lost a someone today.

Favorite patient of the day

Me: Are you allergic to any medicines?

Patient: Yeah, I'm allergic to hydrocodone.

Are you currently taking any medicines?

I take Lortab for my knees?

You are allergic to hydrocodone, but take Lortab? You know hydrocodone is the generic name for Lortab?

Yeah, but when is says Lortab, I'm not allergic.

*headdesk*