Why is this soooo hard?

Conversation with a patient with low back pain:


Me: You have a couple of options. If the pain is not severe, I can make you an appointment to see an Orthopaedist in a few days. If you can't take the pain anymore, there is an emergency clinic that is open until 9 tonight. Both options will only cost you your $20 co-pay.

Him: Well, why did the hospital charge me $400 when I went to the ER?

Why did you go to the ER?

I had a bug bite.

You had a bug bite that resulted in a severe allergic reaction? Trouble breathing...throat closing...?

No, it just itched

If you go to the ER and it's not an emergency, your insurance doesn't pay. You have to pay.

Well, what is an "emergency?"

An emergency is where you are in danger of losing your life or a limb, NOT a bug bite that just itches you idiot!

OK, so I didn't say that the idiot part. But I REALLY wanted to! Why is this sooo hard to understand?

Wouldn't that hurt?

A patient dropped by today to tell me her health history because she was sure would "impale" me....hehehe

Back to work....and reality

As I'm sitting here thinking about having to go back to work tomorrow, I'm reminded of a recent staff meeting I attended. The topic was the recent employee survey. One of the low scores for my department was compensation (come on, who thinks they are being paid enough?) The big issue was the fact that we (occupational health nurses) are not paid on the same pay scale as hospital nurses.

I get 2 10-minute scheduled breaks per day, a 30-minute scheduled lunch break a day, holidays off, 2 weeks a year off, and weekends off.

Do I deserve to make what a hospital nurse makes? Hell no. There are somethings worth more than money.

Irony, con't

Lost a someone today.

Favorite patient of the day

Me: Are you allergic to any medicines?

Patient: Yeah, I'm allergic to hydrocodone.

Are you currently taking any medicines?

I take Lortab for my knees?

You are allergic to hydrocodone, but take Lortab? You know hydrocodone is the generic name for Lortab?

Yeah, but when is says Lortab, I'm not allergic.

*headdesk*

Just what I expected

You are a Social Conservative (36% permissive) and an... Economic Conservative (71% permissive) You are best described as a: Republican Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid Also : The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

Irony

The reason I love my job, the reason it is so great, is the exact same reason it sucks.

I work in occupational health. I am the only nurse for 500+ employees. I wear the hats of mother, therapist, friend, confidant, sounding board, and nurse. I see them everyday--in the hallways, in the cafeteria, in the parking lot. I get invited to their birthday parties, weddings and baby showers. I see them and care about them as PEOPLE, often friends, not just patients. And I LOVE that about my job....

Which is the reason the past couple of weeks have been difficult.

An employee came to me with left sided facial numbness that she noticed when she was getting ready for work. After examining her, I concluded that she most likely had Bell's Palsy. I called her doctor and explained my findings. The doctor concurred and called in a couple of prescriptions for her with instructions for her to make an appointment in a week. The employee went to her follow-up appointment. Just to be safe the doctor did a CT--she has Bell's Palsy AND a brain tumor (the tumor isn't causing the facial numbness because it is in a different area of the brain.)

Another employee has been struggling with a recent CABG and newly diagnosed cancer. Now he has had a massive stroke.

Some days I wish they were just patients....